In the last few days, I have noticed an increase in messages and even comments regarding people being single and looking for love. While some of the messages are innocently just that, others hint at a more “dire-some” (yes, I totally made that word up) situation; those jaded by giving their all to someone who, a. doesn’t seem to appreciate it, b. is more than happy to take it and leave or c. never asked for it in the first place. So I decided to start tackling this topic. Of course it will take more than a post or two to conquer, but we’ve got to start somewhere right? That brings me to this:
Know. Your. Worth: Stop giving yourself away for free; you are whole so don’t willingly share your parts. Make them work for it.
Mainstream media, social media kings and queens, and even glamour magazines have always promoted their distorted and tainted definitions of beauty. We’re either not skinny enough, not pretty enough, we don’t wear enough makeup, or we don’t smile enough. The list goes on. I’m sure we’ve all had moments when we’ve compared ourselves to the pristine cover girl of the month or allowed ourselves to wallow in our insecurities. It’s not our fault though. We’ve all felt like muck at times. And if that isn’t bad enough, social media is flooded with images of young-ish couples and their #RelationshipGoals trends. Blah.
I could go on and on about the reasons that make us feel inadequate, unwanted, and undesirable at times, but believe it or not, I have a point. That insecurity you feel is a direct reflection of your self-love, or the lack thereof. As long as you skirt around the issues of your self-worth, self-image, and self-love, you will always look to others to define and validate you, and you will continue attracting the same type of unsavory people.
You are Beautiful; you are NOT dumb. We have a gift; it’s called women’s intuition. We know when someone is genuinely into us and when they are not. If and when they are not, let them go. You were not meant for them nor were they meant for you; and truthfully, they probably don’t deserve your light or your love anyway. Relationships are expensive, and I don’t mean financially. They’re expensive in that they cost us our most precious resources; our time, our effort, our respect, our love, and our trust. They take work. Those that care will put forth that effort; so those are the ones that you give your all to—in time. If you have been giving your all to them and they haven’t been putting in that work, they will continue to take your greatness for free.
Know your worth, and my goodness; you are worth so much more than you are settling for–worth so much more than you know. Fall in love with yourself, your flaws, your beauty, your strengths, and yes even your weaknesses. And then let the right one fall in love with you. If they’re a jerkface now, they will be one later. They don’t deserve any of the parts that make you whole. Patience. All in its time lovies, all in its time.
– Mali ♥